Phantasia Tales Skit Theatre 4,000
by Drew L
Summary: Cress has many 'Lloyd moments', Chester is a smart alec, Mint will hurt you, Claus is terminally horny, and Arche is as clueless as ever. In other words, all is well in the land of Asalia, so come in and let the madness begin!
1. Chapter 1

**Phantasia Tales Skit Theatre 4,000: **

_**By**_

_**Drew L.**_

Disclaimer: I own nothing "Tales of Phantasia". You'll be thankful for that fact.

Note: Inspired by Twilight Scribe's "Z Skit Theater" in the "Tales of Symphonia" section.

Warning: Major Spoilers from all throughout the game.

**Arche's New Spell!**

The story will not be in script format, but in the same format as Twilight Scribe's. Cress is normal, _Chester is in Italics_, **Arche is Bold, _and Mint is Bold and in Italics_**.

"**Alright, a new Spellbook! Now I can learn a new spell!"**

"Say, Arche…"

"**Hmm? What is it, Cress?"**

"Those Spellbooks we keep buying you are pretty dang big…" 

"**Eh? So what?"**

"_What he's saying is that this is a lot of books and weight for us to be carrying around for you only to be learning one new spell per book." _

"Exactly."

"**And that's my fault how? These spells are very complex!"**

"_So complex that one spell takes up one entire book?"_

"**Yes!"**

"_Uh-huh. I somehow doubt that."_

"**But it's true!"**

"Prove it."

"**What?! Why?! I'm the magic user here, without my spells, we'd be getting nowhere fast, so I don't see why I should explain myself to you!"**

"Indulge us."

"**(sighs) Alright, first of all, you need to calculate the amount of mana and your own personal energy that's used up in each spell, as well as the range, base damage, and spread ratio, while figuring in the best angle of impact in order to deal the most damage to each foe using only visual geometry figures on the spot, and while doing that you have to…"**

"Alright, alright, we believe you!" 

"_Ack! And you have to get all that down per spell?!"_

"**Yep! Hee, hee, hee."**

"Wow, it's like a whole school textbook per spell, then, I see now."

"_Alright, so the weight and the books are an necessary evil. (sighs)"_

"Yeah, come on, you get that bag of Spellbooks, and I'll get this one."

"_**I never new being a Magic User could be so complicated, is it really that difficult, Arche?"**_

"**Are you kidding me, it just sounds hard to the untrained ear."**

"…"

Well, that's the only way I can make sense of there only being one spell per Spellbook. So, liked or disliked?


	2. I Summon Thee!: Larry

**Phantasia Tales Skit Theatre 4,000:**

Disclaimer: Don't own.

**I Summon Thy!: Larry!**

Claus is Normal, _Cress is in Italics, _**Mint is Bold, _and the Wonder Chef is Bold and in Italics._**

"Claus, are you sure that guy said the next Summon Spirit was in this restaurant's basement?

"Yes, I'm quite sure, he even gave me the Summoning Ring."

"**Yes, but, this is a little ridiculous, Claus. What kind of Summon Spirit would dwell in a restaurant?"**

"Don't know, but here's the entrance to his lair.

(Opens it.)

"**Who disturbs my rest?! How dare you! I am the mysterious Gourmet: The Wonder Chef!"**

"You have got to be kidding me…"

"**Oh, dear… (sweatdrops)"**

"(Shrugs) Oh well, I am Claus, one who bears the Right of the Pact. Wonder Chef, the Mysterious Gourmet, I beseech you! Form a pact with me!"

"Very well, but you must first prove yourself in combat. Ready yourself! (Goes into battle stance while twirling his fork in the air.)" 

"(sweatdrops)"

"**(sweatdrops)"**

"Heh, heh, heh. Now this is…amusing."

Well, done and done. By the way, I forgot to post something at the end of the last skit. Reader participation is welcome. Have any ideas for a skit that you'd love to see on here? Suggest them in the reviews, and if its used, I'll give you your proper credit for the idea.


	3. Author's Note

Author's Note:

Sorry for the delay, but I've had to work with a group of other students on a very lengthy bibliographic essay for the last week, and I haven't had the time to update, but that's changing this week now that I have some time to myself. Thank you for the reviews and feedback.


	4. Coffee: Its What

**Disclaimer: **I own nothing, just my socks, and that's questionable.

**Coffee: Its What's for Breakfast:**

A/N: This idea came to me while watching a friend get himself some of the before mentioned beverage: 'What if coffee was in Asalia, and what if Arche got her hands on it?' The scene is taking place in the lobby of an Inn. Enjoy.

Cress is Normal, _Chester is Bold_**, Claus is in Italics**_**and Arche is Bold and in Italics.**_

"Alright, time to head out. Is everybody up?"

"_Pretty much, I just got that crazy pink-haired girl up."_

"**Not so easy, it is? How did you get her to stay once you woke her up?"**

"_Coffee."_

"WHAT?! You gave Arche coffee!"

"**What Kind?"**

"_Not that it matters, but it was from that machine over there."_

"Oh dear god…" "This can't be good…" 

"_Why, what's up?"_

"Chester, that's…" 

"_**HIEVERYONECANWEGOYETCANWEGOYETIWANNAGOMYBROOMISITCHINGFORTHEOLROADSOI'MGONNAGOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (flies through a nearby window)"**_

"…"

"…as I was saying, that coffee was super-charged with caffeine and sugar."

Afternote: This took so late. Please forgive me.


End file.
